Well, it has happened. My sweet baby is already becoming a willful toddler. The past week or so has been filled with frustrating moments for her and for anyone near her. She has begun to whine. She is clinging to us like she thinks we’ll disappear if we’re out of her sight. And of course, she’s also starting to walk.
Learning to walk and talk are HUGE developmental milestones for a baby and with the new development comes an equally big emotional response. Tears and frustration abound as we humans learn new skills and reach new levels of development. And it’s not just babies who experience the emotional ride of learning new skills. Children and adults of all ages have the same big feelings. When we reach a goal, there’s often a big emotional high and an accompanying let down.
So, what do we do with those feelings of sadness and anger that go along with new accomplishments? We can try to ignore them or shove them aside, but that sure hasn’t been working at our house. I’d rather embrace the feelings and provide a safe space for my daughter to fully express all that she’s going through.
Amazingly, just last week, my little one learned how to roar like a lion and wow, it’s a really ferocious roar! So my mom and I began to play a game with her where we pretend to be frightened by her roar. She LOVES it! It’s really one of the first times I’ve seen her expressing and enjoying her power, she completely lights up. She roars again and again while we cower in mock fear. “Oh no! Don’t eat me! I’m so scared,” can be heard often at our house these days. Here’s a short video of the game:
Then last night it was bedtime. And you guessed it, she didn’t want to go to bed. I could tell she was getting agitated and she started to test my husband by hitting him. She knows that hitting people isn’t allowed, but she wasn’t sure how else to express the anger and frustration bubbling up inside her.
So I redirected her hitting to the stuffed animals on her bed. Before we knew it, my husband, daughter, and I were all throwing and hitting and jumping on the stuffed animals yelling, “Take that!” and “Aaarrgghh!” We all had a blast and each of us got an opportunity to express any unexpressed anger or frustration. I can’t even tell you how satisfying it was to slam that pink elephant into the wall. It was truly liberating. The best part was that after the anger release, she was tired and ready to wind down to sleep.
So the next time anyone at your house is whining or getting agitated, try playing a power game. Sometimes, just having an appropriate outlet for anger, frustration, or powerlessness is all a child really needs. And when offered a healthy way to release those feelings, kids can easily return to their usual kind and cooperative selves.
Wish me luck with the rest of toddler-hood, I have a feeling I’m going to need it!
Have a great week, Shelly
